So. I got on my computer to write. And this is what I've done since then:
1) Watched The Meanest Mom's clip from Greensboro Fox 8 News.
2) Watch a video clip of some dog wanting to eat cupcakes from Cake Wrecks.
3) Read some funny posts on a new blog I found, one of which was directions for how to make chocolate covered bacon.
4) Looked at homes for sale in Utah. (I don't know why.)
So. I really need to get writing, and The Spouse challenged me to write a story containing the following things: a lemon, a songbook, a porcupine, and a mallet. (Are you kidding me??)
There was, not very long ago, a small and kindly porcupine that lived in a neat and tidy little burrow under the ground. He had to be neat and tidy, because otherwise his quills got stuck on every little thing, and it was difficult to get around.
Each morning, the porcupine would leave his neat and tidy little burrow, and go out for his adventure for the day. For although he liked his home to be nice and orderly, once he stepped outside of his burrow, there was nothing he enjoyed more than a good adventure.
On this particular morning, he was snuffling about in the fall leaves, smelling things, eating things, and enjoying the crunching sound of his little paws, when suddenly he heard the quiet sound of singing.
Curious, he sniffed and snuffled his way in the direction of the sound. The song got louder as he got closer, but--even very close--it was still quiet. Finally, he came to the edge of a little clearing, and in the center sat a small hedgehog, holding a songbook, and singing a soft little song.
The porcupine was delighted! Here was a creature he had never seen before, and it was prickly, just like himself. So, politely, he cleared his throat to let the little creature know he was there. The hedgehog jumped, of course, because he was startled and had thought he was alone.
The porcupine felt very sorry for frightening him, and quickly said that he was sorry, but wondered if he might ask who this little creature was, and what he happened to be doing in Porcupine's forest.
The hedgehog had tiny, black eyes and they looked very sad as he told the porcupine that normally, he is not a forest animal, he is a hedge animal, but that he got so distracted on his way home from gathering berries that he had gotten very lost, and had stopped to sing himself a song so that maybe he would feel better.
Porcupine felt very sorry, and told Hedgehog that he must come with him to his burrow and rest a little and have something to eat. The hedgehog hesitated, because porcupine was a stranger, and he thought that it probably wasn't a good idea, but, then again, porcupine seemed such a kind fellow, and he was prickly--just like himself, so it must be alright.
So hedgehog and porcupine sniffed and snuffled together back to Porcupines burrow. Hedgehog was very impressed with how neat and tidy it was, which made Porcupine feel very proud. He trundled about, getting some water and berries for hedgehog to eat. As a special delicacy, he rolled out a large, yellow lemon that he had found when some people having a picnic had left it behind suddenly when it began to rain.
It was such a happy color that he hated to eat it, but thought that surely something that beautiful must be delicious. Because it was the best he had, he decided to share it with his special, prickly guest. So, taking his small mallet in his paws, he smashed at the lemon a few times until it split in two.
Rolling one half over to the hedgehog and keeping one half to himself, they both took a large bite at the same time. My goodness! It was very, very sour! Both of them puckered up their mouths and made very funny faces, which made them begin to laugh. It made the sad little hedgehog laugh so hard, that porcupine took another bite and made more funny faces just to keep his new friend laughing. They decided to squeeze some of the lemon into some water, with a few drops of wild honey, and then it tasted very delicious indeed.
They had such a nice afternoon that porcupine began to feel very sad that hedgehog would need to leave, but he knew that he must help him find his home. He asked hedgehog to describe where he lived, and the things about it, because maybe--in his adventures--the porcupine had come near it at one time or another. And, indeed, he had! He knew right where it was. The best part of all? It was, really, very close by--so he would be able to see his new friend and have lemonade as often as they could wish.
And they did.