Saturday, January 17, 2009

Day 55: Fire Bird

I'm afraid that my entries the past few days have been... well... "pretty bad" might be even too nice a term for them. It's a funny thing, this writing. Some nights, I have such great ideas. Other nights, I feel like there just isn't anything there. So, I write--either way. And some mornings, I wake up and think "Oy. Last night's entry was awful. I should erase it." Almost without fail, it's the stories that I think were awful that get a good response, and some that I really like--get none. So I erase none of them. Good, bad, unedited as they are. They stay. But, please, accept my apologies for the ones that are "pretty bad."

Tonight, I was trying to make up a story for my son as I was trying to wrestle him into his pajamas. Something about a bird of every single color who could fly so high that he could see the whole world. I was feeling pleased with it. My son, on the other hand, couldn't have been any *less* interested. So I thought I'd write my simple story here. Maybe someone *else* will like it...


There once was a bird.
It had draping feathers of blue, red, purple, yellow, green, white, black, orange, and aqua--every color of the rainbow. But it didn't always.

Once, that bird was very small, and very weak, with simple brown feathers. But, one day, he decided to fly as far as he could--to see what he could see.

Setting off, he could see some squirrels in the trees, gathering nuts. He could see small fish in the streams. But, before long he grew very tired, and went back to his tree.
When he reached there, he realized that he had grown some silvery blue feather--the color of the stream, and some green feathers--the color of the trees.

The next day, and the day after and after, he flew a little further and a little higher.
He saw sheep in the meadows and cows in the fields dotted with purple clover.

Higher still, he could see goats clambering on the rocks in the mountains,
their peaks covered in glistening white snow.

Ever higher and higher he flew, and soon he was never tired. And for everything he saw, he grew feathers of different colors. The yellow of the sunrise and the orange of the sunset.

Higher and higher it would fly, until it could see the boats bobbing on the deep blue ocean. Soon, it reached the moon, with it's smiling face, and grew silver white feathers.

Higher still, the bird--strong and beautiful--flew and flew,
until it's tail feathers brushed the stars and it turned all the colors of the sun.


Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

with the right colors, this would make a brilliant children's picture book. Maybe a little more interaction with other living creatures in the plot?

Cristina said...

Hi Becca,

your stories were never "pretty bad". I always found them "good" or "better than good" or "really great". With the exception of the first version of the shepherd story, that didn't really fly (but the second one was pretty good, I thought). And I read your blog every day, even though I didn't post any comments lately (this first trimester business is kicking my rear area these days, as you know...).

The bird story is very nice, but feels unfinished to me. The bird has to do something spectacular with this new knowledge and all the colors it collected. I'm sure you'll come up with something :-) It reminded me of myself, and how traveling and seeing different things has added different colors to my own story. Not sure I'll ever do anything spectacular with my own colors though, but that is harder to do in real life anyway, isn't it?

Not surprised at all that your 2 year old didn't care much about your story though... My 3.5 years old never cares about any story I tell him or try to read him. I hope that will come at some point though.


Erin said...

i enjoyed it! that story could totally be a childrens book. as i read it i was picturing eric carle's style. i hope that is not an insult... (like comparing your paintings to thomas kincaid would be) you know much more about childrens literature.

InkMom said...

Agree with Steph . . . this is definitely one that would be enhanced by really spectacular illustrations full of vibrance and vivid detail. Great idea -- I would buy it!

DeNae said...

OK, Becca, I'm signing on to follow your blog, too. I really, truly admire "story artisans", people who can craft a story and paint a picture in the readers' minds. I am not that writer. My specialty seems to be 'having a normal life that just happens to be kinda funny' and exaggerating it to the breaking point.

I will never be able to help you with story ideas, and I'm not a children's author. But I'm REALLY good at editing, and if you want some little helps here and there with word use or voice, let me know and I'll be glad to lend what help I can!

Good luck!!