Day 105: Fields of Gold, Chapter 14

I'd been home for three short weeks. Thanksgiving had come and gone, and I had been home long enough to be homesick for Switzerland--especially Christmas time in Switzerland.

On the first Sunday in December, there is a Christmas devotional at our church headquarters in Salt Lake City. One of Dave's older sisters, Teresa, had tickets for Dave and his siblings to attend, and he invited me to come along.

I pondered what to wear that night and decided on a nice deep aqua crossover top with the chai necklace he'd given me from Jerusalem. I pulled on my gray three quarter length coat from Los Angeles and a cashmere scarf that my parents had given me, and waited for him to pick me up. I had no idea if this counted as a date because, well, he had asked me to come and he was driving 30 minutes to pick me up. Did that count? We picked up Mike and Sarah, then drove to Salt Lake and met up with his sisters Teresa and Nicole. All of us sat together in the Conference Center, basking in the gorgeous Christmas music and message, and I just enjoyed being with his family. (Dave has the coolest family, who have the ability to make you feel fabulously at home, and several of them I knew from e.f.y. years before. I wanted to be part of that family. You'll see why.)

When the devotional was over, we decided to pile in one car and drive up to Teresa's apartment for super-yummy dessert. But there was one problem--there wasn't quite enough room, so someone would have to sit on someone's lap. Dave's sister-in-law Sarah (who *always* has my back) said happily "I think Becca has to sit on Dave's lap!" (I could've hugged her.) As I crammed into the car and perched myself as lightly as I could on Dave's lap and we all laughed and joked, I decided this was going to be my best Christmas season EVER. (See what I mean? Cool family.)

**

A few hours later, it was just Dave and I in the car as he drove me home. It had been such a beautiful relaxed night, and I was already sad that it was coming to an end. Then, he casually said, "Yeah, my roommates don't understand why we're not dating..."

My heart hammered in my chest and I could hear the sound of rushing in my ears. Was this my opening? Was this my chance to say something? On my mission, I had *promised* myself that I would not pursue Dave, or any guy. That I was worthy of being pursued, by jingo. I wasn't going to be the one that brought up dating first. But did that casual introduction count as him bringing it up????

In that split second, I made my decision...

"My roommates don't understand why we're not dating..."
"Actually, Dave, neither do I."