Wednesday, February 11, 2009
There are a lot of older, nice looking southern gentlemen walking about in a confused daze at my local Walmart tonight. Must be Valentine's Day coming up.
Wednesday nights are my weekly "alone time for mom" outing. Tonight, it was raining torrents, so I stuck close to home and wandered aimlessly around Walmart. As I was walking away from the pharmacy and towards the cosmetics section, there was an older guy. Wranglers. Ball cap. Sunglasses--at night. Standing smack dab in front of the "Family Planning" display. He was holding, I kid you not, a pregnancy test. Trying to look very interested while managing, instead, to look a little harassed. Yes, kind sir, it is a bit hard to be discreet when Family Planning is at the end of the Feminine Protection aisle. I understand.
A little further down was a man trying to catch a Team Associate's attention to open the locked perfume display case. "I just need that there last bottle uh' Magical Musk perfume." Magical Musk? Heaven forbid. I can only hope it was a request.
As I continued to wander I saw more lost souls with carts that had blenders, huge stuffed bears, and wax lips. There was a dude in the "Intimates" section with his head in his hands. He was probably trying to decide between the size 22/24 Super Shaping girdle in his cart and the oh-so-skimpy zebra print thong and bra set in his hand. I saw him on the way out with some beer, a King Size Snickers bar, and jerky. Good choice, my friend. Good choice.