Hiatus

It has been a long time between writings.

Because there are things I just don't how to write about yet. Because sometimes life is all-consuming.

Currently, The Spouse has taken Thing 1 to go ice skating. It has been much anticipated by her. I hope that she is having a wonderful time. She doesn't have enough "wonderful" in her life these days. This past Sunday, I walked with her into her children's class and saw the three little girls in her class sit down together, put their hand over the one open chair, and say "You can't sit by us. There isn't room for you."

And my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

Because I know these girls are good, kind little girls. Because I know that they aren't being mean, intentionally. They are just friends. And she isn't part of the group. But the lost, forlorn look on my daughter's face brought me to such a helpless, hollow place. I wanted to scoop her up and carry her out. I wanted to tell her that there would always be a place by me, for her. But I can't do that. So I pulled up a chair for her, gave her a hug, and left.

Things like that leave very little in me that is worth writing, and they seem to be happening a lot lately.

And, at the same time--not.

Because I've spent this evening with Thing 2, watching him while he watched his current favorite: Robin Hood. His chatter about the characters and laughing over the story. He is my Boy. And I'll take half an hour of sheer joy in exchange for a day full of confused temper tantrums. Any time.

So there really isn't any point to this post, except a simple "Here I am, and this is where I am." I feel grateful, at least, to have someplace to say it.