Saturday, November 29, 2008

Day 9: Bug.

Today's entry might be a little tricky. I would love to write children's books. (Actually, the University of North Carolina at Charlotte offers a Masters in Children's Literature that I've been wishing to try out for several years. Doesn't that sound cool?) So, today, I'm going to write an idea for a children's book. It's hard to explain how I picture it in my head, all illustrated, but I'm going to give it a shot. (Each space indicated "new page".)

Note: Below is the "revised" version. Several of you suggested filling out the end, so I tried to do that a little better. Let me know what you think--do you like this version better, or the old one?

BUG

Bug lived in a quiet corner of the world, deep in the shade of some dandelion trees, near the great Gutterspout River that only ran when it rained.

His home was a lovely little hole, dug in the warm ground with a friendly little entrance at the top. Next to his door was a little welcome mat, made of grass, for Bug loved visitors.

His nearest neighbor and dearest friend was Lady Bug, who lived in a vast house in a mushroom. Sometimes she would come calling with a large blueberry muffin crumble in her hands, because she knew that blueberry muffin crumbles, though rare, were Bug's favorite food in the whole world.

One beautiful summer morning, Lady Bug came by and asked Bug if he would like to go crumble hunting with her. "Blueberry muffin crumble hunting?" he asked hopefully. "Maybe," she kindly replied, "but we might find other kinds of crumbles as well." He pulled his grass mat over the entrance of his door, and they set out.

First they happened by his very old neighbor, Sir Centipede. Sir Centipede smiled and waved his many hands. "Good morning!" they called to him.

Further down the lane was the huge Ant family. "Hello! Where are you going?" all the little ants cried as they clamored about. "We are going crumble hunting." said Bug importantly. "Can we come?" they all begged. Oh dear! They would never find enough crumbles to feed this many little ants. But Mama Ant said, "No, children. For we must dig in our house and make more room for more baby ants." With a wave, Bug and Lady Bug went on.

Gathering small crumbles as they went, soon they came to the center of town. Here, there were many large and strange bugs to be seen. Bug could see katydid taxis, beetles cleaning the street, spiders going shopping, and praying mantis policemen. So many bugs, each of them beautiful. Each of them busy!

Soon they walked out of the center of town, and came closer to the most dangerous part of their world. Every bug was afraid to come here, and only the bravest bugs came. This was where the terrible, frightening SHOE MONSTER lived.

With a huge TROMP, TROMP, TROMP the Shoe Monster would come--crushing every bug in it's path! You had to be very careful.

But this was also where the very best crumbles were to be found--especially the rare blueberry muffin crumble, so Lady Bug and Bug bravely went gathering crumbles.

Just then, up ahead, Bug spied the biggest blueberry muffin crumble he had ever seen. He dropped his armful of cheese crumbles and dry cracker crumbles and rushed toward it.

Right as he reached the crumble with delight, he heard it coming. TROMPING, TROMPING, TROMPING. "Bug! The Shoe Monster!" cried Lady Bug. He scooped up the crumble, but it was too heavy--he could not run! The great shadow fell across the ground and darkened the sun. Bug trembled with fear.

But the brave Lady Bug dropped her crumbles, spread her wings, and flew to scoop up her friend Bug. "Hold on tight!" she said, and he did. He held on to that blueberry muffin crumble with all his might, and they flew away--back to the center of town.

"Shwew!" said Bug, laughing. "That was close." "Yes," said Lady Bug, "but that crumble is big enough to last you for days!" Happily, Lady Bug helped Bug to carry the huge blueberry muffin crumble back to his house.

When they got there the crumble was too big to fit in the door! They tried shoving it. They tried jumping on it. No matter what they did, it just wouldn’t fit in the little door.

Bug thought for a minute, and then told his friend, "I know! We must eat some of the crumble, and then it will fit. But you must come and share with me, for you left all of your crumbles behind to save me, and there is far too much here for me to eat on my own." Lady Bug happily agreed, for she liked blueberry muffin crumbles very much herself.

And so, they had a glorious picnic in the shade of the dandelion trees, feasting until they were full on Bug's favorite food in the whole world, with some sweet Rose Petal nectar to drink.

7 comments:

Gretchen said...

I like it *with* the part in gray included. And, because I lack imagination, I thought of Bug as a beetle. Also, more specific bug-types I thought would be called by their name, such as "grasshopper" or "spider" instead of just "Bug". Loved it!

MikeandJen said...

I like the story with the gray part. I think it kind of takes you on the journey with them. I was picturing a grasshopper the whole time and didn't even realize it until you asked at the end. So great!

Cristina said...

I loved it! The grey part is good too, you should keep it. Like Gretchen, I imagined bug as a beetle. Did you think of trying to publish this? I know a children's book writer in New York, I could put you in contact with her if you want.

Cristina

Lesli said...

you are right. a writer must write--something I am yet to figure out! I think you have great sentence flow and your story moves nicely. Somewhere along the lines you might consider reading Writing for children and adolecents by lee somebody---sorry my copy is in storage. I thougth it was helpful--even thought I didn't acutally follow through with it--yet!

Eve said...

ooooooo - lady bug saves the day! a heroine! love that! I pictured a beetle! and the part in gray is great b/c it just lends more to imagine and picture! my kids would love this story!

Mandi said...

Along with everyone else, I say keep the gray. It's part of Bug's world, and it helps us to know him better. I did think the conclusion needed a little added something. I don't know... something a little more final. But that's just me.

I pictured Bug as being green, a fat little torso and a round head. Is there even such a bug?

Once again, I'm so proud of you for being a go-getter. Good girl.

Denise said...

Wonderful adventure- how could every else not know that bug is a potato bug- small, grey, and rolly polly- just the right size to not threaten a lady bug friend, and small enough for her adrenaline rush to allow her to wisk him out of danger (it is a him, of course) Keep the centipedes and ants- very humorous and visual. Will the sequel include a romance? What genus would their children be? Lady taters? vice versa? Speckled bum, rolly polly red and grays? Good job, I was delighted. A stronger conclusion would be a plus- it got weak at the end, like you quit before the story was over. Still an "A" however... denise